User blog:LakuitaBro01.2/Lak's Death Battles - Wario VS Donkey Kong
Herray fer new battle. Intro: Wario, great enemy to Mario. And Donkey Kong, Mario’s first ever rival. I am Dmitri, host of Lak’s Death Battle. And I am Samantha, and today we are pitting these two of Mario’s rivals against each other to see who would win in a Death Battle. Donkey Kong: “Roohroohrooh!” Donkey Kong is probably the most biggest brute in gaming. He’s been able to complete tasks no other ape can do. Donkey Kong in battle uses many punches and throws barrels at his opponent. His headbutt can put opponent in ground. When opponent in ground, he can either slam ground or punch opponent with charged punch. When he needs to regain momentum in the air, he can use Spinning Kong, where he spins fast enough to hover for a short time. DK even has shotgun. Coconut Cannon can hold up to 99 coconuts and firing them to do massive damage. He can even use grenades. His Orange Grenade can damage enemies made of metal tremendously! And when there needs rampages, Rambi the Rhino is there to defeat enemies. He can also throw barrels that are explosive, metal, or just wood. He sometimes launches out of barrels to get where he needs to go. And his special move is Bongo Blast. Move so powerful that it’s sound waves cause massive damage. Some of DK’s feats include making it into the SSB series, saving his island twice from paranormal tiki instruments AND arctic animals. But, his most impressive feat is- In Donkey Kong Country Returns, DK was able to punch moon out of sky and clog volcano. Like fiery toilet. Donkey Kong is over 8 feet tall, and has defeated an army of alligators twice. He also has transformation, Strong Kong. In this form, Strong Kong is invincible, yet strength and speed do not change. However, Donkey Kong is just an ape, therefore, he can’t think of any strategies and just swings his fists. Let’s move onto Wario. Wario: “Wario Time!” Wario is great thief and greedy capitalist. In battle, Wario can lift things several times larger than he is. He can even piledrive enemies no matter their size. He can also shoulder charge his enemies. Like capitalist swine he is, Wario can bite life out of enemies. Since his diet consists of garlic, he has bad breath. Wario has been known to use pots to his advantage. The three he uses are the Jet Pot, Dragon Pot, and Bull Pot. The Jet Pot increases his speed and he can glide around. Dragon Pot allows him to breathe fire at enemy. Bull Pot increases strength and allows him to cling to ceiling. Wario is the Master of Disguise, as the title implies, he can transform into eight different disguises. Thief Wario doesn’t do anything except for increasing his speed. Cosmic Wario gives him a laser gun and he can jump higher. Arty Wario can create box and hearts to heal self. Genius Wario can see invisible objects and use extendable boxing glove. Sparky Wario can shoot electric balls out of his hand to shock his opponents. Dragon Wario is basically the same as the Dragon Pot. Captain Wario can go under water like German U-Boat and fire torpedoes. And Wicked Wario can fly, again like the Jet Pot. Wario Man is his most powerful form, gaining invulnerability and strength. However, Wario Man lasts for short time. Wario can also use Mario items since he branches off from that series. Wario also has way of transportation as well. He can use the Wario Car, a sports car that can be destroyed easily. And Wario Bike, his signature mode of transportation that he can pull out of thin air. But Wario’s greatest attack comes from ass. Wario Waft is so powerful that according to popular show Game Theory, the Wario Waft exerts 13,138 newtons of force from 6’ man’s anus. That would be enough to split him in half but somehow it doesn’t. When fully charged, the Wario Waft can cause the equivalent of a nuclear bomb. While Wario is formidable fighter, he has two weaknesses. While Wario IS smarter, he is weaker and smaller. Now that lesson’s done, let’s get ready for Death Battle! Fight: “Setting, factory in the middle of the jungle” The sun is setting out of a factory window. Wario leaves his office with bags underneath his eyes as he hears the sound of stuff breaking in the main factory room. Wario runs into the room to see DK smashing the factory equipment. DK turns to face Wario with a grin and walks over to Wario happily. Wario’s face turns bright red and grabs DK by the arm and starts to spin him around. Wario throws DK out of the factory window and grumbles and begins to leave. Suddenly, DK leaps through the window again and punches Wario. DK beats his chest as he and Wario begin to fight. “FIGHT!” Wario and DK’s fists collide until DK uses the Spinning Kong and knocks Wario outside the factory. In a flash of light, Wario’s outfit changes to yellow with a purple lightning bolt down the middle and his hair turns orange. DK busts through the wall of the factory and charges at Wario. Wario shoots an electrical ball at DK, causing DK to jolt a little. DK continues on to charge and ignores the jolts of electricity. Wario flails his arms as DK kicks Wario, causing him to go flying into a tree and to lose his power. DK turns to a barrel and grabs it. He throws the barrel at Wario and it collides with him and it explodes. The explosion reveals a pot with a Dragon symbol on it, Wario jumps in. Wario gains a dragon hat and watches as DK picks up another explosive barrel. Wario breathes a fireball and destroys the barrel in DK’s hand, causing it to explode and DK to hit a crate. Inside the crate is Rambi the Rhino. DK gets on and looks for Wario, who is missing. A rev of an engine is heard and Wario in his sports car comes around the corner of the factory. Wario gapes at the rhino charging at the car, knowing that it could easily destroy the car. Wario searches through the car and finds a Bob-omb, he throws it a Rambi, who bucks backwards. DK falls off and Rambi runs off into the jungle. The car speeds towards DK who finally gets up to his feet. DK charges up a punch and throws it at the car, stopping it and sending Wario flying past DK. Wario jumps into a pot with a bull on it and comes out. Wario charges at DK and tips him over. Wario jumps on top of DK and wails on him with his fists and legs. DK grabs Wario and swings him around and throws him into the tree line. DK picks up a shotgun-looking weapon and fires at Wario, who eats them. Wario becomes Cosmic Wario in a flash of light and fires his laser gun at DK. Three lasers hit DK, hurting him but not enough to the point of injury. DK throws an Orange Grenade at Wario, exploding on contact and causing Wario to lose his power. DK fires more coconuts at Wario, who runs away. Wario stops and puts his hand on his chin and snaps his fingers. Wario pulls out a bunch of garlic and eats it. DK comes running out of the trees and punches Wario into a lake. Wario frantically swims to the surface but his pulled down by DK, who jumped in the water. DK begins to choke Wario, who in a flash of light, becomes Captain Wario. Wario fires torpedoes at DK, who gets blasted off a few meters away. DK barrel swims to the surface and jumps onto land, but is punched into a barrel by Wario. The barrel launches him sky high to the moon. Wario wipes his hands to get dust off of them and he walks off. Suddenly, there is a loud rumble. Wario looks up to see where his opponent was blasted off to. The moon begins to come down at Wario, who lets out a “WA” The moon stops at a volcano and plugs it. Wario laughs but is headbutt’d into the ground and punched into a tree by DK. DK takes out a Crystal Coconut and eats it, turning him sparkly. Wario shoulder bashes DK to no effect. DK smiles and Wario runs away with DK hot in pursuit. Yet another flash of light and Wario turns into Wario Man as the Strong Kong effect begins to wear out. Wario bites, punches, and headbutts DK and knocks him into a couple of barrels. Wario Man wears off and Wario should dashes to DK, who begins to play drums with the barrels. The shockwaves hit Wario and cause him to go flying. DK is done and charges at Wario, who turns into Genius Wario and uses the Extendable Boxing Glove to punch DK. DK grabs the Extenda-Arm and pulls Wario towards him and punches him into a pot with wings on it. Wario pops out and begins to fly around. Wario swoops down and picks up DK. DK struggles to break free of Wario’s grasp but Wario begins to do a piledrive, crashing into the ground. DK gets up and shakes off the blow and punches at Wario, who loses his power and gets sent flying into a cliff wall. DK barrels down towards Wario, who is on the verge of tears. Wario suddenly grasps his stomach and remembers the garlic from earlier. At the last moment, Wario jumps and kicks DK down onto his back. Wario lands on DK’s face and then lets loose the Wario Waft, sending flying twenty feet in the air. Wario lands without a scratch and as the gas clears, he looks at the now non-existent head of the ape he had just killed. “Wario wins!” “KO” Wario jumps onto his motorcycle and leaves as Dmitri and Samantha begin to talk. Outro: Capitalist win?! That’s right, Wario couldn’t do enough damage to DK so he could only keep him at bay. As already stated, Wario Waft lets loose 13,138 newtons. Around two thousand newtons is required to break a bone and applying the fact that 15 PSI can destroy a head with 11 newtons per square inch, 13,138 newotns was more than enough to destroy DK. You forgot to mention, Wario is smarter than DK, so he thought of more useful strategies. That is correct. DK’s train of thought exploded when he smelled that fart. The winner is Wario. Category:Blog posts